QUEBEC CITY – Quebec’s Premier-elect Francois Legault defended his plan to prevent public servants from wearing religious garments as pro-Muslim, since it will be a detriment to a larger nu…
Trump orders FEMA to put all their efforts into cleaning up devastation of Manafort guilty plea
WASHINGTON – The White House has released a statement authorizing the Federal Emergency Management Agency to redirect all of its resources to the destructive impact of Paul Manafort’s coope…
Justin Trudeau graces Rolling Stone cover to shore up American base
NEW YORK – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made the cover of Rolling Stone’s August issue in his latest attempt to appeal to his most supportive constituents; American liberals who don’t …
Canadian playwrights scramble to find next American tragedy to make all about us
NEW YORK – In the wake of 7 Tony-nominations for the Newfoundland-set Come From Away, playwrights across Canada are hard at work on the next musical romp that capitalizes on an American dis…
Mike Flynn offers to testify in exchange for immunity to dioxin poisoning
WASHINGTON – The former national security adviser told the FBI, House, and Senate intelligence committees that he’s willing to cooperate with an investigation into the Trump’s campaign ties…
Kellie Leitch proves commitment to shitty Canadian production values
OTTAWA – Conservative leadership hopeful Kellie Leitch has released a campaign video demonstrating that she has her finger on the pulse of traditional Canadian culture and it’s terrib…
5 ways to abandon your kids on Family Day
You know what they say, kids are either the greatest joy in your life, a constant burden on your spirit, or some combination of both. But no matter how much you love your children, one thing is c…
McGill students endorse plan to battle fascism by punching Jews
MONTREAL – Yesterday the Students’ Society of McGill University voted to support a representative’s calls to combat the growing tide of alt-right sentiment and neo-fascist rhetoric by track…
Mitch McConnell Congressmansplains arcane senate rules to Elizabeth Warren
WASHINGTON D.C. – One day after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell stunned Democrats when he interrupted Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren’s speech about Jeff Sessions’ past and us…
The Beaverton launches crowdfunding campaign to finance investigative report on why Ezra Levant is such a fuckface
Dear Readers, What the fuck is wrong with Ezra Levant? After the terrorist attack on a Quebec City mosque resulted in the arrest of a lone gunman, Alexandre Bissonette – a noted white natio…