CALGARY – After throwing down the first volume in disgust, local man Eric Patel declared that the new fantasy series Swords of Korregon is terrible but that he’s definitely still going to r…
EXCLUSIVE: Donald Trump’s 13 deleted eclipse tweets
WASHINGTON D.C. – President Donald Trump once again ignored the desires of his staff today, taking to social media to unleash a tweet-storm during today’s total eclipse. While the tweets ha…
Andrew Scheer distances himself from The Rebel, will go ahead with op-ed in Eugenics Quarterly
OTTAWA – Following the website’s involvement in the Charlottesville neo-Nazi rally, Conservative party leader Andrew Scheer has decided to cut ties with The Rebel, planning instead to publi…
Ezra Levant somehow tanks white supremacist website during most racist time in recent memory
TORONTO – Despite a huge increase in racism and racial violence across North America and the presence of a white supremacist in the White House, Ezra Levant has somehow managed to entirely …
Realtors warn that if housing market collapses everyone could one day afford house
TORONTO – After a nearly 30% decline in value, realtors across Toronto are concerned that if the market continues to falter someday in the near future everyone could afford a house. “I don’…
Local man manages to get in a quick 15 minute existential crisis before work everyday
MONTREAL – Saying it keeps him feeling fresh and alert, local man David Oberto has spent the last year doing high-intensity existential crisis before heading out to his job each morning. “I…
CBC splits single white man’s salary between two women, two minorities
TORONTO – Following the departure of longtime anchor Peter Mansbridge, CBC executives have decided to hire a diverse collection of hosts, each of whom will receive an equal share of Mansbri…
Canadian dairy lobbyists accidentally buy $200 million worth of influence in Department of Fisheries
OTTAWA – After several mishaps and one case of mistaken identity, the giant Dairy Farmers of Canada lobby group accidentally spent $200 million on favourable legislation and treatment in th…
Trudeau tweets message welcoming world’s refugees to Canadian prisons
OTTAWA – After a federal judge upheld the government’s right to indefinitely detain immigrants as it sees fit, Trudeau sent a triumphant humanitarian tweet, inviting refugees from all over …
US health care debacle makes local man proud of system that’s unaffordable for 10% of Canadians
HALIFAX – After seeing several news reports stating upwards of 30 million Americans could lose health insurance, local man Oscar Mcallister says he’s proud to live in a country where only t…