WHATELY, AB – In a failed attempt to build a casual, respectful rapport with his students, newly hired grade 8 teacher, Mark Dickerson, regrets allowing that one kid in his class to nicknam…
QUIZ: Only 1 in 10 people know these letters of the alphabet!
Let’s face it, knowing the letters of the alphabet is hard. We all know A and B, but what about those ones at the end? X? What’s that? And let’s not get started on that whole L-M-N-O-P stretch. O…
How to plan a wedding when both dinosaurs and meteors are in attendance
Let’s face it, weddings are difficult to plan at the best of times. The flowers, the food, choosing a DJ can all cause headaches. But what if the groom’s family and the bride’s family don’t get a…
Which wines go with which Pringles?
By H.G. Peters, Oenophile and Pringophile Wine and Pringles are two of life’s great culinary pleasures, and finding the perfect match can be a delicious endeavour. There are many factors to consi…
Blue Jays players warned to not risk injury by trying any more ‘baseball stuff’
TORONTO – Team Physician Dr. Jason Smith has warned the remaining healthy players on the Toronto Blue Jays not to try any more ‘baseball stuff’, as the risk of injury is too great. “There h…
6 money management tips from a toddler who just bought five Kinder Eggs
Hi! I am rich! I have five Kinder Eggs that I brought from the store. Do you want to know how to get enough money to buy fiveKinder Eggs? This is the most Kinder Eggs I have ever seen! I have a l…
Paw Patrol investigated for sexist hiring practices
ADVENTURE BAY – Paw Patrol, a team of pups that save the day whenever there’s a problem, is under investigation by the Adventure Bay Human Rights Bureau for sexist hiring practices. Ryder, …
Rex Murphy safely re-enters Ontario after snapping turtle hunt permanently banned
CORNWALL, ON – After years of living in fear of being shot at by ubiquitous snapping turtle hunters, Rex Murphy can finally enter Canada’s most populous province again following a decision …
Man’s attempt to cut fresh bread goes horribly, horribly wrong
BRANTFORD, ON – Traumatized victims are attempting to move on with their lives after witnessing a disastrous attempt by local man Ian Pendergast to cut a loaf of fresh bread into equal slic…
Tim Hortons employees completely unaware of what’s on menu
BURLINGTON, ON – Several customers were forced to leave a Tim Hortons hungry yesterday after staff of the coffee shop admitted that none of them had any idea what was on the menu. Like many…
