MONTREAL – After denying to hear a case of a woman simply because she was wearing a hijab, Judge Eliana Marengo has vowed to sentence lawbreakers according to how Muslim they are. “My inter…
120 year-old time capsule reveals Ottawa just as boring as it is now
OTTAWA – After being hidden away for years in Parliament, a time capsule filled with aging artifacts has revealed that Ottawa was just dull and uninteresting as it is now. The capsule, whic…
Conservative civil servant has a deep mistrust in self
OTTAWA – A public servant for the federal government and card carrying Conservative Party member has a deep lack of trust in himself and the job that he works at. Larry Carmichael states hi…
RCMP arrest radical eco-terrorists planting trees 50 km from pipeline
PRINCE GEORGE – RCMP have arrested seven radicalized eco-terrorists in connection to a plot to plant trees near an oil sands pipeline. The trees were said to pose as a barricade to future p…
MADD to text drivers about the dangers of drinking and driving
OAKVILLE – Mothers Against Drunk Driving are reminding Canadians not to drink and drive by sending them a text message while they’re driving. “We think this is a great initiative to raise f…
Unemployed Sun News commentators quickly change opinion on employment insurance
TORONTO – Recently laid off Sun News Network commentators have strangely reversed their negative views towards the country’s employment insurance system. “I know over the past few years I’v…
Trudeau forgets to google ‘Eve Adams’ before welcoming her into Liberal Party
OTTAWA – Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau failed to conduct a google search on former Conservative MP Eve Adams before allowing her to cross the floor into the Liberal Party. “Oh, shit!” a wid…
Canada Post replaces community mailboxes with single, massive country mailbox
THOMPSON – All Canadians will now be required to pick up their mail at a giant community mailbox located just outside of Thompson, Manitoba, Canada Post reports. Canada’s new and only mailb…
Schools celebrate Black History Month with abolition of Canadian slavery from history curriculum
TORONTO – To kick off Black History Month in Canada, schools across the country have successfully abolished all forms of Canadian slavery from the nation’s history. “Teaching about Canadian…
Montreal’s Club Supersexe offers childcare program for employees, clients
MONTREAL – One of Montreal’s most acclaimed strip clubs is offering its dancers and clients free childcare inside the club. The new daycare – available for children twelve and under &…
