OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has pledged that he will consult all First Nations and environmental groups about the controversial Northern Gateway pipeline the moment after the first oil spill occurs.
“Let’s be clear,” Harper asserted in a House of Commons debate, “These communities and organizations will be consulted on all important aspects of this pipeline, such as being evacuated from their ancestral lands, how to remove Alberta crude from sea birds and whether it will ever be safe to drink the water again.”
Harper went on to say that his government and Enbridge Energy is dedicated to hearing everyone’s input and cries for help the moment thousands of liters of oil drench BC lakes and rivers causing permanent damage to sensitive ecosystems.
“Enbridge Energy is dedicated to working with our stakeholders in oil recovery management,” said Enbridge Public Relations Coordinator Katelynn Andra. “We simply can’t shut down the flow of oil for regular inspections or to fix the safety violations found at 117 pumping stations last year. This is why we will generously give locals empty oil drums, so they can help recover some lost profits in the event of a spill.”
At press time, oil executives were so happy about the Northern Gateway approval they could burst like a cracked oil pipeline.
