AUSTIN, TX – In a very expected turn of events, local conservative person of colour Amol Khan has voiced outrage over what he perceives as yet another example of liberal indoctrination: woke mirrors.
This self described “radical free thinker” claims that mirrors, once considered a bastion of neutral reflection of one’s appearance, have succumbed to the influence of progressive ideology. As a result, he sees his own reflection as a growing trend of “forced diversity”.
“It’s like they weren’t satisfied with Disney, now they’re pushing their diversity agenda even in my own reflection! Why should I have to confront the reality of a diverse society every time I check my hair or adjust my tie?”
“I go to my mirrors for reflection, not representation!”
Mr. Khan, currently unemployed, argues that like most liberal ideologies it doesn’t just stop at one thing. “Yeah the reflection is a POC which can be realistic, sure… whatever, but the reflection is also plus-sized and not conventionally attractive either? This liberal agenda of reflecting reality is going too far.”
Mr. Khan says he decided it was time to speak up when, at a family event, he noticed his entire family lined up for a mirror selfie and all he saw was POCs in the reflection. Adding to the shock, Khan saw his cousin, a noted part of the LGBTQ community, which he claimed was “an unrealistic depiction of America, and seemed to prove (his) theory about the gay agenda.”
As an act of what Amol claims as patriotic defiance, he threw the mirror off of his balcony, shattering it, which he claims as the ultimate proof that “when you go woke you go broke”.
On being pointed out that the mirror broke because of the laws of physics, and not because they were woke, Amol moved on to complaining about how reverse racism is worse than actual racism and pointing out the genealogy of every fictional character to exist.
