Los Gatos, CA – People everywhere are at a loss for new content across many of the streaming giants, but it’s none other than OG streaming service and self-described “thots” Netflix that is struggling to keep up with demand.
In an effort to fuel the nation’s insatiable thirst for loosely assembled footage of maybe-murder, reports from insiders suggest Netflix is hinging it’s bets on it’s newest series Just a Bunch of Gay Dogs a five-episode special that asks, “Dogs… they gay too, right?”
After a slew of brainstorming meetings in which silly putty is thrown at a board of mad libs cards, Netflix has found its new obsession in the project dubbed ‘Sub Woofters’, formerly titled All Gay Dogs go to Heaven.
Just a Bunch of Gay Dogs was the literal scum that rose to the top, narrowly beating out reality trash Dong Peninsula and the Riverdale spin-off, Just Lockerroom Footage.
Netflix is doubling down, with docu-series head Gordon Gourd saying: “If you loved the 2005 level of reality TV effort we put into Too Hot To Handle, then you’re gonna love our gay doggos – we basically wheel a Shitzu in a wig down a red carpet blasting the Mamma Mia soundtrack”
Director Joel Schumacher said of the process, “We started by just filming some dogs walkin’ around and tried to see if they’d do something particularly homosexual, like barking at overhead lighting or pretending to have seen movies like This is The End and Drive.
Insiders report that executives are skeptical, saying that what amounted to over 400 hours of footage, may have ended up being dogs just hanging around. With one producer noting, “What we initially thought might be a ‘peek behind the curtain’ into an underground bondage scene, turned out to just be a Daschund tangled in a leash.”
Despite the lack of a hook to hang on and 98 minutes of talking heads that are just Pomeranians in ASOS bitch-wear falling off chairs, Just a Bunch of Gay Dogs is desperate to keep Netflix afloat.
That is until of course Netflix’s fall slate, which includes Nailed That: My Summer Bonk List, Tiger Prawn: Mango, Melon and Mahi Mahi, Stranger Thongs: Upside Down Panty Freaks, and Riverdale spin-off Reggie does Everybody, streaming now on OnlyFangs.com
