While we’re all overwhelmed by the dreary news of a global pandemic, upstairs Vancouver neighbour Elizabeth Caza is turning Covid into “Goal-Vid!” by practicing her vocal exercises for hours!
Elizabeth used to be too busy in her day job to spend time working on her full-volume, extremely repetitive operatic scales. But now she can, thanks to the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, and a state of emergency urging all citizens to self-isolate from home. Sweet!
This formerly meek and mild analyst has found her authentic voice and it’s JAZZY! And RUSTY! She’s filling her time, and her Kitsilano apartment, with 3-octave vocal slides, tongue trills and her personal favourite, “mah may mee mo muuuuu!”
After thrilling everyone in a three-block radius with a demonstration of her lip buzz technique, Elizabeth told The Beaverton, “I’d all but given up my dreams of singing scat-jazz! Now, with the help of a never-ending order to shelter in place, I can tap plosives all day long! BRRRRRRRRRRR! BREEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Nobody’s happier than her equally isolated downstairs neighbours, courtesy of the building’s flimsy insulation! A few unlucky residents, considered “essential work”, couldn’t be there during the day, but Elizabeth has their back! Inspired by her jazz heroes she’s doing her best and loudest work between 1 and 3 in the morning! It’s like a smokey jazz club right above their heads!
Elizabeth owes it all to her vocal coach, Beckford Quine, pioneer of the ‘explosive glottal grunt’. “She’s got such a powerful diaphragm,” Quine tells us, “and these techniques will only increase her volume and stamina! I’d like to see Bose noise-cancelling headphones block HER arpeggios out!”
Quine has already set an ambitious schedule of 2 hours on, 30-minutes off, over 8 hours a day, and Elizabeth is PUMPED! “Beckford tells me I’m ready to kick it up several decibels by practicing my portamento over a full-volume recording of 170 jackhammers! I can’t wait!”
She’s even started working on her own song, repeating one single phrase over and over and over and over again until she has it just right! And with her roommate, Kate ‘Boomer’ Wells, joining in, there’s no escaping the joy!
Uh-oh! It looks like Elizabeth’s “singing” is almost as contagious as the virus that prevents neighbours from even knocking on her door! Next-door neighbour Murray Evenson just pulled his drums out of storage and plans to play along! We can’t wait to hear that awesome combo’s debut single…but only once they’ve workshopped it month after endless month, however long we’re all trapped! SUPER!
