Hamilton, ON – Local woman, Sarah Kinst, has decided to combat the winter blues by participating in the “Around The Bay” marathon and informing anyone within a three kilometer radius to her of that decision.
“Half the challenge of running a marathon is telling people that you’re running a marathon,” insisted Kinst, 32. “I figured out I can really get the word out by inserting it into every conversation I have with anyone near me. For example when a local Jehovah’s Witness came to my door, I told him that I was doing an 18k that day and he ended up having such good advice about whether I should heat or ice an injury.”
Many of Sarah’s friends and family have observed her need to talk to people about the run by stretching at bus stops for over an hour, attempting hill sprints in the office, and forcing eye contact with everyone in the grocery store. Though Sarah claims these run ins with the general public are coincidental, it’s pretty obvious that Sarah is “mad thirsty” to talk about her marathon training.
“We occasionally take the same bus route”, claims fellow bus rider Joe Dent. “We never speak to one another, but since she started training for her marathon, I now know she’s been having issues with her Achilles tendons, which she is going to physio for, but training for a marathon in the winter is an added challenge. She is a stranger to me. I shouldn’t know this information. No one should.”
“She followed after me one day talking about how she planned to deal with it when she ‘hit the wall,’” said Debra, a receptionist at Kinst’s dentist. “She claimed we were going the same way, but I knew what was going on.”
Friends, family, and people who have no idea who Sarah is, continue to fear Sarah’s marathon training due to the fact that it takes at least three months to train for a marathon. To make matters worse, once she has completed the marathon, she will definitely tell people that she has competed in a marathon, therefore it’s looking like Sarah may never stop talking about this.
“I’m starting to think maybe she doesn’t even know what a marathon is”, said Sarah’s best friend’s third cousin Sandy. “Just the other day she told me she can’t wait for the bike portion.”
At press time, Sarah has yet to sign up for the marathon.
