Your House – Sources in your household are reporting this morning that “you can do whatever you want”, because your mom “doesn’t even care anymore.”
The development comes after your 3am return home last night, during which you made a racket, and allegedly demonstrated that you “couldn’t care less about the people who put a roof over your head.”
Siblings report that, based on your lack of concern for her, your mom no longer cares if:
- You have clean clothes
- You’re hungry
- You’re safe
- You’re happy
- You are wearing your scarf at the appropriate time
The full enumeration of items your mom no longer cares about has yet to be released publicly, but siblings close to the situation have disclosed that “she went on like that for like twenty minutes, dude,” adding, “you’re in so much trouble”
Analysts familiar with and married to your mom have explained that this is just how she demonstrates her disappointment in you, and it should blow over in a week or so.
However, at press time, the devastating psychological effects of the proclamation are already clear. Having quietly made yourself a small sandwich, you are proactively cleaning your room for the first time in months.
