MONTREAL – Canada’s only passenger rail line has removed its tagline ‘why don’t you take the train’ from the crown corporation’s commercials after thousands of passengers have discovered numerous reasons not to take the train.
In a recently released statement, VIA Rail acknowledged that the slogan completely ignores obvious deterrents to taking the train such as it being expensive, impractical, or inconvenient.
“After reading traveler’s emails, tweets, and Facebook posts, we’re now convinced there are many reasons not to take the train,” explained VIA Rail’s marketing director Amelia Martin. “When we came up with the slogan, we didn’t factor in that some traveler’s destinations are nowhere near a station or that no one wants to pay over a hundred dollars to get from Montreal to Toronto.”
VIA Rail clarified there are dozens of other forms of transportation that might be far superior to their services.
“It’s come to our attention that taking a bus or carpooling is, in fact, often much cheaper. We’re so sorry we didn’t do the research on that one. Some travelers would be better off walking instead of having to sit beside some half-drunk loudmouth who’s been eating a chicken salad sandwich the entire ride.”
Martin acknowledged that delays were a factor in people’s decision to not take the train.
“We just discovered that arrival times are often significantly later than advertised due to passing freight trains or a signals issue. That’s on us. None of us in corporate had ever actually taken a VIA rail train before.”
“In retrospect, our slogan shouldn’t have been an open invitation for criticism because, let me tell you, we got it.”
VIA Rail has since tweaked their brand messaging by updating their slogan to “Take the train. Please, for the love of God, take the train.”
