LOS ANGELES – According to a new study, the guy’s name – you know, the guy from that one thing – is William Fichtner, a Long Island-born actor with over 80 credits to his name, including several things that up until now he had only been maybe the guy in.
The study, launched in 2008 after the guy from Armageddon showed up as the shotgun bank guy in The Dark Knight, has finally determined that that guy – you know which guy we mean, with the skinny face and, like, the eyes – is Fichtner, and that he was also the cop in all those other things.
While it had long been speculated that the name of the guy was William Atherton (the jerk reporter from Die Hard and Die Hard 2 who was also that jerk in Ghostbusters but probably not Ghostbusters 2), the study has definitively concluded that the guy in question is in fact William Fichtner, while conceding that he does look kind of like William Atherton, like if William Atherton and the guy who played Robocop had a kid.
“The identity of the guy had long been difficult to pin down,” explained film historian Dr. Antonin Grieg, one of the authors of the study, “because he was in that one thing where he was pretty scary, but then there was that other thing? It had like Jamie Lee Curtis in it or something? Anyway, he was funny in that. But yeah, most of the time he’s just like, this guy.”
Known for what is commonly described as “like a serious-government-guy face”, the guy was indeed a serious-FBI guy in several things, notably the TV series Prison Break – although surprisingly he is not big-serious-government guy Clancy Brown, black-serious-government guy Keith David, or old-serious-government guy the late James Rebhorn.
At press time, it says here he’s, like, 60 which is crazy because the guy looks the same in everything, and that he was on Grace Under Fire, which is weird.
