WINNIPEG – Despite a decade and half of claiming that they are going under local rug store Sultan’s Rugs and Fineries has for sure filed for bankruptcy and are closing their doors at the end of the month, but actually this time.
The apparently legitimate closing comes after an out of business sale in 2014, an everything must go because we are done sale in 2015 and a definitely bankrupt not lying liquidation of stock earlier in 2016.
“We regret to inform all our customers that Sultans Rugs and Finery has entered into bankruptcy.” said owner Siqad Dar in a statement to the press “I can not stress how much this is for real. Please someone believe me. I swear this time I am telling truth.”
The statement is in sharp contrast to Siqad’s multiple earlier statements regarding his supposed businesses failure which prominently featured the phrases “Never to be repeated prices” “savings savings savings and even more savings” and “ The sultan’s gone crazy buy his rugs for very cheap.”
Siqad has been sighted wandering the neighbourhood crying in what is either a breakdown caused by his loss of livelihood or a clever sales ploy. “This is a classic Boy who cried wolf situation” said rug industry analysts Debra Parks “this happens more then you would think.”
Employee’s of the store are not surprised by the closing “The sign that read ‘These prices are too good to be true’ should have read ‘These prices are too good to continue running a viable business” said shift supervisor Renne Delnaite. “Siqad was being honest when he said the we were going out of business. He just loved delivering great quality at low prices too much.”
Many consumers are reluctant to believe the shop is closing “ I’ve walked past the shop every day for a year and they have been closing every time” said local resident Hamed Jackson, “Last year they bought the adjacent Coffeetime only to knock it down and fill it with stuff for a new expansion closing down sale.”
At press time Sultan’s Rugs and Fineries is currently having a Court Ordered Creditor Pay Back Crazy Blowout/Slightly Reduced Prices Sale.
