OTTAWA – After looking for hours, Minister of Global Affairs Stephane Dion has finally captured the Onix in the Parliamentary Library.
“Yes!” exclaimed the former Liberal leader as held his smartphone to the sky in victory. “Go team red!”
Dion claims his quest would have gone more easily if he hadn’t wasted his incense in East Block, and if he hadn’t had to climb the fence at 24 Sussex to get to the nearest Pokestop.
“Yeah they [RCMP] tackled me fairly hard,” admitted the cabinet member. “And when I told them who I was, they just roughed me up even harder. Must not have heard me.”
Dion said he downloaded the app hoping it would allow to him to meet new people, and maybe make some friends, but admitted to having “no luck so far.”
“But that’s fine. I’m totally fine,” he continued, his quivering voice echoing throughout the neo-gothic chamber.
At press time, Dion had sold his level 3 Charmander to the Saudis.
