OTTAWA – After an eventful night at the Byward Market that left him with a throbbing headache, former schoolteacher Justin Trudeau opted to take it easy the following morning and just show the House of Commons an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy.
“Good morning, Mister Speaker,” said Trudeau, using one of his hands to wheel a TV cart into the lower house and the other to massage his forehead. After cries of ‘Yes!’ and excited whispers echoed through the chamber, Trudeau belched and added, “I yield the rest of my time to Bill Nye.”
While Trudeau was figuring out how to work the VCR, sources report that Minister of Foreign Affairs Chrystia Freeland asked if the MPs had to take notes during the video, to which the current Prime Minister of Canada and former educator replied, “No, just pay attention,” resulting in thunderous applause.
In perfect synchronization with the the introductory sequence of the episode, Minister of Science Kirsty Duncan could be heard yelling ‘Science Rules!’ and ‘Inertia is a property of matter,’ while Finance Minister Bill Morneau pointed at himself, grinned and mouthed ‘Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!’ during the corresponding part of the intro.
As the video continued to play, Trudeau could be seen popping two Advils, drinking coffee and resting his head on the bench, intermittently shushing some of the louder legislators so that he could ‘do some marking.’
Even the Conservatives were on board with Trudeau’s decision to show the video, making it the first Bill to receive bipartisan support. This discourse changed the following morning, however, when Trudeau told the MPs the that they would, in fact, be tested on the video’s content.
“We have a leader who flip-flops on the issues,” said opposition leader Andrew Scheer. “One day it’s ‘you don’t have to take notes’ and another it’s ‘you’re having a test’. So which is it going to be, Mr. Trudeau?”
Trudeau regained the approval of the House when he promised a pizza party, a trip to the Ontario Science Centre, and permission to leave early on Friday.
