MEXICO – With high school classes nationwide out for the summer, one group of Canadian teens is preparing to spend an exciting summer abroad in the most profane temple of Chalchiuhtotolin.
“I am so excited,” said Vancouver girl Sally Clemmons. “It’s gonna be sun, sun, sun, avoiding having my soul eaten by a hungry ancient god, and more sun!”
“Also, the culture is really interesting.”
When asked why they chose to spend their summer in the home of the great Plague God, the Jewelled Fowl, Chalchiuhtotolin, most of the teens cited the fewer required assignments and more lenient supervision.
“Mr. Wong is our chaperone on this trip, and he’ll let you get away with anything,” said Michael Grayson, as his teacher stepped on a trap panel and was riddled with hundreds of poison darts.
While many of the students seem to enjoy jumping over pox cauldrons and running away from the man-spiders, locals who shun the temple are outraged by this trip.
“They shouldn’t be here, nobody should be here,” said local man Rafael Osuna, as the teens slammed back Coronas under the gate of He Who Rules the Eighteenth Day.
Despite Osuna’s cryptic warnings, all the summer students are confident they can avoid the grasp of the Great Tempter until Labour Day weekend.
“It’s gonna be fine,” said Marie Nunn, who hasn’t seen her boyfriend Billy since the Chamber of Dry Hearts. “Oh look, a feast!”
Nunn then went on to taste of the corn of blood, or, as the Aztecs called it, ‘blood maize’.
“Billy had better get back soon,” she added. “Otherwise he’s going to miss tonight’s eclipse.”
