TORONTO – Scientists at the Orphan Black Fan Institute say they have successfully cloned a human being, actress Tatiana Maslany, star of the cult sci-fi series, Orphan Black.
“If the show has taught us anything, it’s that cloning is awesome,” said Institute head Lestor ‘Leekie’ Barnhum. “We just wanted to get in on the action by cloning our favourite actress. And before you ask it is NOT a gross sex thing.”
The TV show follows Sarah, a street-wise ne’er-do-well mother who discovers that she is one of several clones, the products of a defunct biotech project. Ever since the show’s release, fans have been attempting to clone Tatiana Maslany, but this is the first time any group has accomplished that goal.
“Our lucky break came when one of our fans broke into her makeup trailer and teased out several hair samples from one of the brushes. It took a while for us to find one with a root, but we found one,” said Sarah-Beth Brazeau, President of the Toronto “clone club.”
“It was really sad for us when the first fetal clone turned out to be [co-star] Kristian Bruun, and it had to be terminated.”
The clone was birthed last week, through surrogate, Tatiana McKinley, who legally changed her name to Tatiana in 2014. Now that the clone baby is born, the fan club plans to raise the child themselves, but Brazeau says they are divided on what name her.
“Lots of people want Sarah, but many purists say it should be Rachel, since, spoiler alert, she was the original child who provided the DNA to be cloned. Personally I think it should be [the violent and unstable] Helena, since that is the most likely result of our unqualified group parenting of this biological experiment.”
Unfortunately a number of religious groups have objected to the Clone Club’s actions, and are already making plans to eliminate the clone, or at least make her existence convoluted and confusing enough that most people stop caring, just like with the show itself.
