TORONTO – Blackberry stock closed at its highest level in months today after a national report released by McGill University indicated that Canadian fathers are still too stubborn to learn how an iPhone works.
One of the researchers of the report explained that these men were suffering from a condition called “Old Dog Syndrome”, which affects more than 20,000 Canadian fathers every year.
“I like the keyboard” said subject A: Rick, a father of three, who hadn’t sent a text or email in his life.
Kevin, a Dad from Barrie, ON was confused by the entire concept, “What? No, I don’t need an iPhone. Next you’re gonna tell me that I should get rid of my fax machine.”
Another subject named Hank felt that, “an hour to learn how to use an iPhone. That’s an hour I could be telling my son how his generation ruined everything.”
A spokesperson for Blackberry said that the company is ecstatic to learn that these fathers have dug their heals so firmly into the ground. “After reading the report we have decided to release a flip phone for dads who truly want to alienate themselves from their children.”
Apple plans to counter market by releasing a state-of-the-art landline, called the iRotary. The device includes handwritten index cards with all of your dad’s contacts in an easy to use rotating spindle, which Apple calls a roll-iDex.
The report also revealed that Canadian mothers had learned how to use iPhones, and were waiting for their kids to accept their Facebook friend requests.
