SAN JOSE, COSTA RICA — After a dramatic majority victory in today’s provincial election, Premier-elect Brian Pallister of Manitoba gave a moving acceptance speech from his tropical beachfront property in Costa Rica.
Pallister thanked his supporters from a beachside podium lit with tiki torches while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and PC-issued swimming trunks.
“I am deeply moved by the people of Manitoba,” said a teary-eyed Pallister, a Singapore Sling in one hand. “I’ve dedicated 80% of my time to that province over the past three years, working hard for every Manitoban. Together, I’m confident that we can truly build a province that all of us are proud to take residency in, even if only as a formality.”
Showing his commitment to diversity, Pallister translated parts of the speech into Spanish so the hired domestic servants who work in his vacation home could also understand.
“Es con humildad que acepto ser elegido como Premier de Manitoba por su propia gente. La era de gastos descontrolados y altos impuestos por la NDP ha terminado. El ciudadano contribuyente merece respeto, y le daremos el respeto que merece!”
Pallister explained that he would cut taxes, improve services and bring back some souvenirs for voters once he returned to Winnipeg.
“Les prometo estabilidad, integridad, y una propiedad playera en un pais Latinoamericano de su preferencia!” Pallister added with a wink.
