TORONTO — The nation’s Rebeccas are outraged at being allegedly targeted by Beyonce in her latest album Lemonade. Released last Saturday, the album has ignited a national alert as the entire country searches for a woman known to the public only as “Becky with the Good Hair”.
Becky-with-the-Good-Hair has been described as a non-Black woman, who is alleged to have had an affair with hip hop royalty Shawn Carter (also known as Mr. Knowles, and by his rap moniker Jay-Z).
The women at the heart of the #NotAllBeckys campaign, who feel they are victims of a witch hunt, cite threats made by the elusive “Beyhive” gang, and generally wanting to be recognized for their unique identities as their motivation for the movement.
A rally was held in New York on Wednesday as local Rebeccas gathered to lean on one another in this difficult time. Said one speaker, “The most disrespected person in America is a Becky; the most unprotected person in America is a Becky; the most neglected person in America is a Becky.”
Shocked by the widely cast dispersion on all Rebeccas, one women (not wishing to be identified), stated that she “would, like, never ever be a mistress! Like, ew. It’s a total slur to even imply that, Bey”.
“I just, like, want to feel safe posting a picture of my new balayage hairstyle on Instagram. Gawd!”, stated on Rebecca Porter.
At press time, the nation’s Rebeccas were unable to explain the significance of the Lemonade album. Stating collectively, “wait you mean it’s, like, not about me?”
