OTTAWA – An in-depth survey by the Canadian Security Intelligence Service has found Canadians are deeply troubled by the idea of mass surveillance, according to their personal letters and documents.
“What we’re seeing is how vital it is that CSIS has unlimited access to private data,” said CSIS Director Michel Coulomb. “If we didn’t, we’d have no way of knowing how many Canadians have been radicalized by the notion that we shouldn’t have unlimited access to private data.”
CSIS found that Canadians were uncomfortable with the fact that their every movement, activity, purchase and communication was collected, stored, and shared with foreign governments, and recommended that the government respond by doing more of these things.
“Maybe if Harper was still in power, people would have reason to worry about the potential for abuse of this information,” said Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale. “But after all, folks, it’s not like a Trudeau has ever gone completely overboard in suspending civil liberties, right?”
Goodale went on to unveil CSIS’s new slogan under the Trudeau government: ‘Just Watch You’.
“Some people are calling for stronger oversight of CSIS,” Coulomb said. “But what they don’t seem to realize how difficult it would be for us to watch everybody’s every move, with somebody watching our every move.”
At press time, CSIS had suspended its mass surveillance program, after discovering that a small subset of Canadians were were weirdly getting off on being watched all the time.
