HALIFAX – Dalhousie graduate student Michael Conroy surprised his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day with a luxurious macaroni and cheese dinner, which he paired with an expensive glass bottle of ketchup.
“Clarissa, I know we said we weren’t going to do anything special,” said Conroy, unable to hide his smile. “But I couldn’t resist. It’s Heinz.”
Conroy and his girlfriend, Clarissa Nguyen, had previously agreed that money was simply too tight for them to do a proper Valentine’s Day celebration. But on Tuesday, while leaving his lecture on Victor Hugo, Conroy found a $5 bill, which he resolved to save in preparation for the special night.
“Mikey, this is too much. It must have cost you a fortune,” said Clarissa Nguyen, whose postgraduate studies focus on income disparity in the third world. “But… oh my. It smells just like fresh tomato paste. Wherever did you get it?”
“Tut, tut my dear. Nevermind where I got it,” said Conroy, theatrically popping the lid off the condiment . “Now let us retire to the futon and watch something on my parents’ Netflix account. I have to get back to the library in like 40 minutes.”
At press time, Conroy was carefully scraping the excess ketchup on his plate back into the bottle.
