TORONTO – Local mean man Richard Busby has for years mistaken the genuine reactions to his cruel behaviour as negative thoughts triggered by social anxiety.
“It’s tough,” Busby lamented as he chewed a garlicky shawarma loudly and with an open mouth on a packed subway, “You get these vibes from people that they don’t like you, that they think you’re a jackass. But you have to remind yourself that those feelings come from inside and it’s not how the world sees you.”
It is definitely how the world sees him, say Busby’s acquaintances.
“The first day I met Richard, he pointed at the picture of my wife that I keep on my desk and laughed,” recalled coworker John Barnes. “He grabbed the picture and shouted, loud enough for the whole office to hear: ‘Hope she’s got a great personality!’ Then he looked all hurt when we didn’t invite him to lunch.”
Christie Chandler, a server at Busby’s favourite local restaurant, added “He comes in every day, is incredibly demanding, and then tips ten percent. And when I glare at him, he just closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths, then leaves.”
Busby held up a copy of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life which he had read in hopes it would improve his outlook on himself and the world. Colleagues said the book has simply given him the confidence to be an even bigger dick.
Busby is proud of his progress so far, saying he has finally accepted that it’s only in his mind that his high five attempts are always left hanging.
