OTTAWA – Moments after being sworn in as Canada’s 23rd Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau tapped childhood friend and former babysitter Dominic LeBlanc to be his Minister of Letting Me Stay Up To Watch The First 10 Minutes of SNL.
Leblanc distinguished himself as the most qualified candidate for the post between the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, during which time his judicious management of the future Liberal leader’s bedtime schedule allowed Trudeau to develop key relationships with the cool kids at recess without succumbing to crankiness or fatigue. Leblanc credits these connections with propelling Trudeau to his first public office, the 6th grade class presidency.
“He was the first kid at his school to complain that Jean Doumanian wasn’t giving Eddie Murphy enough screen time,” the Bonséjour MP recalled. “And students really connected with that message.”
Leblanc added that he plans to leverage his new cabinet position to secure key concessions from the Prime Minister that benefit all Canadians, including but not limited to: eating all his veggies at dinner; changing into his PJs without having to be asked; brushing his teeth for a full minute (including the back ones); and not leaving his room after going to bed.
For his part, Trudeau told reporters that this system of checks and balances would allow him to amass the pop culture awareness required to participate in crucial water cooler conversations at the upcoming G7 summit in Japan next May, while still maintaining a high level of mental acuity during question period.
“And if I put all my toys away,” the Prime Minister added, “Dominic says I can play Spartan Strike on my iPad until I fall asleep.”
