CALGARY — TransCanada Corporation is clueless about what to do with hundreds of thousands of pro-Keystone pipeline t-shirts now that US President Barack Obama has turned down the $8 billion Keystone pipeline project.
Boxes upon boxes of “Bitumen is My Homeboy” t-shirts in men, women and kids sizes are presently stacked in the office of the CEO of TransCanada Corporation Russ Girling without any prospect of being sold and distributed.
“I was sure that these things would sell like hotcakes once Obama gave us the greenlight,” Girling explained, wearing a Keystone sweater that stated “Ain’t no pipe dream”. “We’ve wasted hundreds of millions on sophisticated advertising campaigns branded with our corporate message.”
According to inside sources at TransCanada accounting, over $5 million was invested into the research and design for the t-shirt that states “My Pipeline is Down Here” displaying a downward arrow, which would have been very popular with men between the ages of 18-40.
“Our keychains, sweatpants, muscle shirts, and bumper stickers all should have been a hit,” lamented Girling.
To preserve the memory of the pipeline, TransCanada announced several University of Calgary academic departments will be named after the Keystone project.
