MONTREAL — After establishing a spectral fur-trading post on the island of Montreal, Monday, the ghost of Samuel de Champlain was caught in evening rush hour traffic as he headed south on his namesake bridge.
“Incroyable!” exclaimed de Champlain. “The sun, it is still so far from the horizon. How is there already traffic on this pont infernal!”
De Champlain, the “Father of New France”, was en route to present-day Massachusetts to create a permanent settlement in the name of King Henry, and to harass Bruins fans in Cape Cod. Though he had left early in the afternoon, construction on the bridge was causing serious delays.
“I should have embarked after my déjeuner. Why did I not listen to that Algonquin guide?” de Champlain asked himself, referring to a Kiosk attendant who had given him directions.
Montreal’s Pont Champlain is North America’s most traversed bridge and has long been plagued by weather-related deterioration, functional deficiencies and spectres. The Quebec Liberal government has promised the new Champlain bridge, slated for 2018, will be both functional and ghost-free. Critics have expressed concerns, however, that it will still be haunted by the ghosts of René Lévesque, Jacques Parizeau, Bill 101, two referendums, and the Parti Québecois.
