TORONTO — Conservative Finance Minister Joe Oliver will appear at an elite all-boys tree house club to woo supporters after cancelling a speech at a men-only club.
“Mr. Oliver will still make a speech at Jayden Tuluwiski’s Tree House Club tomorrow,” said Oliver’s campaign manager. “All the other popular grade four boys will be there to hear our message that Justin Trudeau likes girls.”
Oliver is also expected to address his proposal for cooler video games with lots of shooting and Mulcair’s controversial candy tax.
“To top it all off, Oliver will say how the universal child care benefit will help their parents buy more awesome stuff for them and then will burn an anthill with a magnifying glass,” added a campaign team member.
Journalists will be allowed into the event so long as they know the secret password and handshake.
