VANCOUVER – Justin Trudeau arrived to a speaking engagement today with what witnesses say was a kempt, salt-and-pepper beard that gave him an air of maturity he had previously lacked in the public eye.
When asked, Trudeau said that the beard was in no way a reaction to recent polls that put the NDP over the Liberals, and he was in no way attempting to mimic the beard of the NDP’s leader, Thomas Mulcair.
“I’ve always identified as a bearded man, I’ve just chosen to bring it out today,” said Trudeau.
“Did I simply decide to copy [Thomas] Mulcair’s beard after looking at a poll showing the NDP in first place, and concluding that a beard would be far easier than re-tooling my entire platform and persona? Absolutely not.”
The speaking engagement was a Liberal fundraiser brunch in Vancouver, where many said they didn’t recognize their own party’s leader at first, but reported to no longer have constant gnawing pangs of anxiety that Trudeau would be completely incompetent and totally unprepared to govern if elected.
“Looking at that beautiful, wise beard, you almost forget that Justin impetuously decided to support bill C-51 for no reason, even though the majority of Canadians opposed it,” said Young Liberal Tiffany Erickson.
At press time, Justin Trudeau was seen applying glue to his face in a men’s bathroom.
