NEW YORK – Following their come-from-behind victory at the Belmont stakes, the coveted Triple Crown has been won by two men pretending to be a 3-year-old thoroughbred.
“It all started when we both passed out while coming home drunk from Becca’s costume party,” explained Dan Makinsky, the front half, about the Kentucky Derby victory. “When we woke up there was a little guy was sitting on us. Before we knew what was going on there was a gunshot and Matt [Dawning] yelled at me to run for it.”
“The rest is history.”
Once the two men realized they had a knack for high-level horse racing, it was hard to keep them away. Makinsky and Dawning won their next four races before taking on the field at Preakness where they achieved their best ever time of 1:58.46.
“Everyone said that two guys can’t beat a horse in a short race,” said Dawning, the back half. “But I guess nobody told this pair of knuckleheads!”
All eyes were on the unlikely duo heading into the Belmont stakes. Despite falling behind after Makinsky bent down to tie his shoe, the two men still managed to take the victory. Dawning credited the win to their strategy of running faster than the other horses in the field.
However, their Triple Crown has been disputed by some horse racing purists.
“I don’t care what the haters say: there’s nothing in the rulebook that says they can’t compete,” said winning jockey Victor Espinoza, flipping through the official regulations. “Oh wait, wait. Here it is. Page one… Yup, it’s gotta be a horse.”
Matt and Dan are the first horse to win the Triple Crown since 1978 and the first two men in a horse costume to win since the Great Depression, when horses were both too expensive and delicious.
At press time, efforts to stud Matt and Dan had been unsuccessful.
