Calvert Island, BC – Researchers at UBC have uncovered possibly the earliest evidence of humans accidentally stepping in dog shit in North America.
The turd, which has been radiocarbon dated at 13,000 years old, was preserved in clay and had a perfectly imprinted foot mark of the poor sap who put his bare feet directly into it.
“This is a remarkable find that further supports the theory that humans had terrible luck as early as 11,000 BCE,” said Dr. Mark Sparrow, Professor of Archaeology at UBC. “The shitprint appears to be that of an adult male pressed up against the feces from a rather large mutt along a busy trading network. The human never saw it coming and plowed right through the steaming pile of poop.”
Further evidence suggests the human made a messy attempt to wipe off the accident on nearby grass, now fossilized.
