Are you trying to show everybody you’re totally over your previous relationship? Here are some tips:
1. Write a listicle for an online women’s magazine about the top ten ways to know why you’re ex wasn’t right for you
2. Post selfies of yourself in sexy outfits like you’re about to go on a date, then stay home to eat ice cream and watch Game of Thrones
3. Leave work early to write a series of tweets about how you’ve decided to really focus on your career right now
4. Get a French bull dog and name him after another ex
5. Stop staying awake at night worrying about dying loveless and alone and instead worry about consumed by swarms of killer bees and carpenter ants.
6. Sleep with your ex’s creepy Uncle Gary. That’ll teach them!
7. Claim you were always interested in UFC even before you met your ex
8. Finally sleep with that friend who’ve always known is right for you but were afraid to admit it. Then wake up and pretend nothing happened the next day.
9. Get more exercise by physically stalking your ex instead of just using Facebook
10. Go to therapy or take some time to yourself to get over things like a normal person, then go set your ex’s house on fire!
