TORONTO – Famous contractor and television host Mike Holmes has allegedly furthered his hatred of knob and tube wiring by forcing his way into a local residence to check out the electrical system in place.
“I was dead asleep until I heard some noises coming from the kitchen,” said homeowner Sheila Meehan. “When I got down there I saw all the drywall had been ripped out, and then this hulk jumped at me from the darkness, yelling ‘whoever did this wiring didn’t have a clue what they were doing!’”
“He demanded my husband and I show him our basement. I thought he was going to kill us but he was just checking for mold.”
Holmes’ other complaints about this house included weak joists beneath the hardwood floors, an improperly shingled roof, and a faulty alarm system.
“He kept muttering about properly insulating the bathroom. I don’t even think he cared if we heard him or not,” said Sheila’s husband Mark.
“Not only did the contractor put in knob and tube wiring, but he supported the entire house weight on a few two by fours with no concrete foundation. So now we need to sister in some proper beams in the basement and add the concrete. But so be it. The important thing is we’re going to make it right,” said Holmes to an invisible camera as police slapped handcuffs on him.
“Make it right!” he screamed again as he was put in the police car.
At press time the RCMP had announced a manhunt for Bryan Baeumler after an Ottawa family woke up to a fully renovated bathroom.
