TORONTO – After being released on bail Wednesday afternoon, sources say disgraced CBC radio personality, Jian Ghomeshi, was not as turned on by the Toronto Police handcuffs as he had expected to be.
“I feel like handcuffs are a bit cliché,” explained Ghomeshi.
“If you had read Giller Prize winner Lynn Coady’s book you’d understand that our cultural moment is about dungeons, not handcuffs.”
Ghomeshi turned himself into police earlier Wednesday morning and was charged with 4 counts of assault, and was said to be completely surprised the cops didn’t rough him up a little since, in his words, he’s been “very naughty”.
According to his Lawyer, the handcuffs weren’t even tight enough to leave a nice mark around Ghomeshi’s wrists, although the feel of the cold, hard steel was a good appetizer for his evening plans.
At press time, Ghomeshi was released into the custody of his childhood stuffed animal, Big Ears Teddy.
