KUWAIT CITY – After receiving parliamentary approval to conduct airstrikes in Iraq, Canada’s CF-18s will bombard ISIS targets in a friendly and polite manner.
“We know that ISIS poses a significant risk to global security,” said CF-18 pilot Capt. Andre McDonald of 409 Tactical Fighter Squadron. “But we also didn’t want be rude when we’re dropping a 500 lbs bomb on their position. I mean, it would be pretty inconsiderate if we didn’t apologize for all the damage we’re going to do.”
Unlike most American munitions currently being dropped to repel ISIS, Canadian bombs are not as loud when detonated and leave less of a crater in the ground. Each bomb used by the RCAF has a written apology in both official languages just to show that there are no hard feelings.
In addition to polite weaponry, Canada’s surveillance planes will be scanning the Iraqi desert for ISIS targets, but promises that it won’t photograph anyone unless ISIS members fully consent to it.
At press time, Chief of Defence Staff General Tom Lawson was hoping that nobody on either side gets hurt.
