TORONTO – Friends and family of adult film star Nikki Benz find themselves at a loss to explain the actress’ baffling decision to debase herself by running in the upcoming Toronto mayoral election.
“It’s sad,” laments co-star Gennifer Anuston, “One minute, she’s getting penetrated in every conceivable orifice by a series of anonymous, mostly unprotected sex partners on camera for money. The next, she’s doing something completely disgusting and sad.”
While Benz has thus far declined to explain her reasons for seeking public office, her father, Richard, places the blame squarely on himself.
“Maybe if I’d done a better job of teaching Nikki to value herself,” he said, “She’d still be doing porn instead of surrounding herself with a bunch of lecherous, amoral pieces of human garbage.”
As for Benz’s chances of victory on October 27th, experts are less than optimistic. “The simple truth,” explains political analyst Jared Henderson, “Is that a life spent making adult films has left her ill-prepared to go up against a bunch of shameless cocksuckers.”
