MONTREAL – In response to the City’s plan to keep bars open until 6 am, Montrealers have stated that they’re still going to black out before 3 am anyway.
“We love to party here,” said 27 year old Jonathan Burns from NDG, “And I’m planning to drink as much as possible as fast as possible, every single night out. What am I supposed to do now? Slow down my pace and not get as shitfaced as I regularly do just to remain conscious longer? Hell no!”
“They can keep them open till 11:00 AM for all I care, but I probably won’t recall much after 1:15 AM” mumbled 79 year-old Jeanne d’Arc Lessard as she was slowly passing out at a local bar. “Two and a half more drinking hours? These are simply two and a half more hours that I won’t remember.”
Montreal’s experiment has already caused some ripples in Toronto as the city’s 7 nightlifers expressed concern that 5:30 AM is way past their bedtime.
