KUALA LUMPUR – Days after Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 mysteriously vanished without a trace, there is finally conjecture on just what exactly happened.
“It took a lot of digging, but I was finally able to uncover some speculation that answers all the questions people are asking about this incident,” said CNN reporter Brooke Baldwin as she filed the latest theories gleaned from a Malaysian Airlines press conference. “I think this will finally provide some closure to the families involved, making it easier for them to decide in what strange ways their loved ones could have died.”
Malaysian Transport Minister Hishammuddin Hussein was grateful to finally have unsubstantiated musings for victims and those following the story around the world.
“In fact, we have a number of different answers,” said the minister as he spoke to reporters. “Victims and media can choose whichever one they like best; be it hijacking, pilot error, or being shrunk to microscopic size by a mad professor. Right now, these are all on the table.”
According to sources, a guy named Dale from twitter will have the best theories on why the aircraft disappeared for at least the next 10 minutes.
With files from Tristan Bradley and Aaron Hagey-MacKay
