TORONTO – Local woman Laura Daniels was low on cash when she went to Shoppers’ Drugmart to buy emergency contraception, so she decided to use the 50,000 optimum points she had accumulated since finishing undergrad.
Said the 24 year-old Daniels, “My boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He’s trying to get his start as a professional mime. I write for a food blog that only gets 230 unique viewers a month, so it really isn’t a good time to have a baby. Taking Plan B sounded like the best option.” Daniels, however, was shocked to find how expensive the drug was. “It was like $36 dollars. I mean, that’s enough money to keep us in Ramen noodles for a whole week!”
In an effort to economize, Ms. Daniels decided to cash in her optimum points. “Honestly, this was a hard decision for me, because while I do not want a baby, I was planning on using my points to buy something like an ionized hair dryer, Jessica’s Simpson’s new fragrance, or even five whole pounds of Dentyne Ice. In the end, however, I feel this was a good purchase too. Who knew buying eye-liner every month could pay off in such a big way!”
A spokesperson for Shoppers’ Drugmart commented on the story, stating, “We are simply delighted for Ms. Daniels. We created optimum points in order to help our loyal customers meet their lifestyle needs. We are beyond thrilled that our reward program could pick up the slack for Canada’s disintegrating welfare state!”
