WASHINGTON – Members of the Tea Party Caucus have informed Americans that they will not vote to end the government shut down until it is made absolutely clear to them what exactly they are being belligerent about.
“I’m almost positive it has something to do with Obamacare,” shrugged a baffled Michele Bachmann, chair of the Tea Party Caucus “but I’m pretty sure supporting the troops is part of it too.”
“No the truth is, we’re pretty mad that America has a really really high debt” corrected a resolute but equally confused Steve King. “Obama is like an inner city hooligan who has been buying all sorts of fancy gadgets he can’t afford, so we need to cut up all his credit cards and tell the money people it was Obama that spent the money and not us. That way they’ll understand how special America is, and how immature Obama has been about all of this.”
“But we still support the troops,” interjected Bachmann.
“Of course we support the troops, much much more than Obama, like trillions of dollars more than him,” amended King to clarify Tea Party economic priorities.
“All’s I know is Obama better give us what we want, or he’s never going to get his precious government back” threatened Bachmann, “having said that, what we want is open to suggestions.”
