Following the discovery of several 1960’s era Doctor Who tapes previously thought destroyed, Who fans are eagerly awaiting the release of the dated and plodding episodes that will undoubtedly be an insufferable chore to sit through.
“I’m really stoked,” said recent Doctor Who convert Shawn Maggio. “I really got sucked in by the exciting David Tennant era. I can’t wait to buy these long-lost episodes, then watch about 10 minutes of them, then take a break and surf Reddit for a while, then go back in and have my eyes really glaze over when I see how it’s just an old man standing on a cardboard set in black and white and oh christ, they found a hundred of these things? Did people have nothing better to do in the ‘60’s?”
As worldwide interest in the Doctor Who franchise reaches a fever pitch in anticipation of November’s 50th anniversary special, the BBC has confirmed the discovery of long-lost episodes whose turgid pacing, hammy acting, and outmoded production values should make them almost unrecognizable to fans of the current Who series.
“The thing I love about Dr. Who is the smart dialogue, the amazing special effects and the general sense of fun and adventure present throughout the show,” said superfan Annie Lang as she adjusted the Tardis costume she had been wearing for over a week. “So I can not wait to half watch Dr. Who serials like ‘The Enemy of the World’ (1967), which will likely contain absolutely none of these attributes.”
“Plus if I make it through them all it’ll totally prove that I’m a bigger Dr. Who fan than any of my friends!” she added.
Reached for comment, current Doctor Who showrunner Steven Moffat replied, “I am absolutely dreading sitting through these. Have you ever sat down and watched television from the 60’s? It’s like watching paint dry. And we’re not talking the Dick Van Dyke Show here, this was a bargain basement British sci-fi serial aimed at children.”
Moffat continued, “Just my luck they’ll have some nonsense rule about the Doctor having a second butt that I’m going to have to go back and incorporate into all my episodes, just to maintain ‘the canon’ for the fans”
