OTTAWA – (DAY FOUR) With the House of Commons empty until October 16th, Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird has been forced to retreat into the wilderness in order to find things to yell at for hundreds of consecutive minutes.
“I’M HERE AS A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HEARD,” screamed Baird at a rocky coastline and a couple of wheeling seagulls.
“DON’T IGNORE ME, YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME, I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HEARD,” added Baird to the the woods and night sky, whose resounding silences were broken only by the hoot of an owl.
At press time, John Baird had lost his temper with a nearby sapling and had been aggressively choking it for almost six hours.
