CALGARY – Canadian energy giant TransCanada has announced that the Keystone XL pipeline will be built by interns in order to offer Canadian students the experiences they need to enter the exciting and expanding Canadian pipeline construction industry.
“At TransCanada we are about providing high quality, excessively processed, Canadian oil at the lowest possible price, in order to maintain excessively generous profit margins” announced CEO Russell K. Girling, while sporting his signature gold-encrusted hardhat.
“That is why I’m insatiably pleased to announce that, the Keystone XL pipeline will be constructed by our unemployed Canadian students in need of high-quality volunteer work experience.”
The program, run in partnership with the PMO, will give 5700 Canadian students the opportunity to get first hand unskilled labour experience.
Canadian students are resigned to excitement over the news.
“It’s about as good as it gets these days, so I’ll definitely be fighting for one of those spots” sighed ecology masters student Jillian Hoffman. “But if there’s only 5700 internships for the entire country it’s going to be tough competition. What if the PhD candidates apply?”
“If I stick with this job, I’m sure there will be a position in spill clean-up just waiting for me” Hoffman added.
