TORONTO – The Blue Jays’ playoff push may have ended 160 games ago but on the baseball season’s final day, there is still hope that they can finish ahead of the Montreal Expos.
“It’s been a tough season,” said manager John Gibbons, who last smiled in 1976. “Our players’ hamstrings collapsed under the weight of the cash we paid them. Finishing ahead of the Expos will hopefully make it up to our fans.”
Jimmy Filson, who has called into Sportsnet590 twice an hour for the last decade, asked host Sam Cosentino if this was a fair fight. “How do we know the Expos aren’t using performance enhancing drugs? Maybe they left Major League Baseball just to avoid testing.”
Frank Irving, Filson’s rival for airtime had an even more disquieting theory: “I think Montreal lost their team just so they would lose less often. How can we be expected to compete with that?”
The excitement around the Canadian Part-of-the-World Series has even spread to the Blue Jays’ players.
“Anyone can win the World Series, not everyone can be on the best professional baseball team in Canada” declared shortstop Jose Reyes, who has never made the World Series in his 10-year career. “That’s why I was so excited to be traded to the Blue Jays. Beating the Expos would really burnish my Hall of Fame credentials. I just hope we can bring it home for the fans.”
