EDMONTON – Attempting to seduce his girlfriend after a garlic-heavy dinner, local man Spencer Jones helped himself to some of the lozenges that he found beside her bed- a decision sources say has left him with nipples that feel “all tingly”.
“I thought that they were sundial-themed altoids,” Jones said, “Unfortunately, it turns out that they were actually ladies’ pregnancy-fighting pills.”
Jones did not realize his error until the morning after the attempted seduction. Fortunately for the couple, a pregnancy did not result from the missed birth control pills, as the oral contraceptives did little to improve the quality of Jones’ breath. Instead of being intimate, Jones and girlfriend Lauren spent the evening streaming old episodes of Lost on Netflix.
At press time, Jones’ girlfriend, Lauren Odo, said that she understood her boyfriend’s mistake.
“I get it- we all make mistakes,” Odo said, “In fact, just last week I mistook Spencer for someone I wanted to have sex with.”
