OTTAWA – A new curriculum reform across Canada will see history books and formal lessons abandoned in favour of repeat showings of the beloved Heritage Minutes short films.
“Youth attention spans are getting shorter and shorter,” said education minister Lauren Broten. “Rather than try and change things, we figure, hey, let’s just go with the flow.”
“From grades 6 to 11, students can now expect a condensed history lesson comprised of a sixty-second dramatic reenactment featuring a national icon such as Laura Secord or James Naismith, and about five minutes of discussion. We can round out the period with a Timbit party unless some students want to nap or spend time on actually relevant subjects.”
Students are already responding positively to the new initiative, which is being piloted in select schools.
“It’s really made the subject a pleasure to teach,” said grade 8 history teacher Mr. Whiteside, “We get to skip over the Japanese internment camps and go straight for the story behind Superman!”
This move is part of a broader attempt to standardize Canadian education. Along with the Heritage Minutes program the government announced that chemistry would focus more on vinegar and baking soda while english classes would now be almost totally Twitter-centric.
