TORONTO – Canadian TV executives are very excited to once again greenlight, produce, and cancel this year’s original programming, inside sources report.
“Crushing the dreams of Canadian artists is a proud Canadian tradition, and I think we represent that well at the CBC,” said President and CEO Hubert Lacroix. “There’s some really original, thought-provoking stuff in our 2013 lineup that we can’t wait to partially fund, barely promote and then leave to die on Tuesdays at 11pm.”
Added Lacroix, “We’ve been doing this to Mark McKinney for years.”
Sarah Fowlie of the Comedy Network expressed a similar sentiment.
“The Comedy Network is dedicated to making sure that we give the best homegrown comedians an opportunity… and then take that opportunity and bury it so deep that it strikes oil. Which we would then take, I guess. The oil, I mean, not the show.”
While cancelling original programming has become a pastime for execs at top Canadian television networks, some shows have proven difficult to deal with.
“I constantly tried to cancel Corner Gas, but I’d have had to travel to Regina, and then drive somewhere else in order to do that. I don’t go somewhere else,” Stated CTV exec John Raisman.
“We hate art,” Lacroix said, breaking a copy of The Sweet Hereafter over his knee. “If I could go back in time, I would cancel the Group of Seven. And then promote the shit out of Little Mosque on the Prairie.”
At press time, the CBC had just announced a new project directed by Sarah Polley, written by Margaret Atwood, and featuring performances by the Kids in the Hall, in the hopes that its cancellation would drive all of them insane.
