OTTAWA – Responding to a correctional services watchdog report issued Thursday which points out that Aboriginals are disproportionately represented in the prison system, Corrections Canada is calling for a massive increase of white prisoners and federal prisons in order to correct the issue.
“This new report is a wake up call that we can no longer sit idly by on this issue,” Minister of Public Safety Vic Toews said. “The federal government must take immediate action by growing the white prison population in order to balance the percentages to more acceptable amounts.”
To that end, Toews announced a new, $500 million dollar program aimed at targeting white offenders, including prosecution of MDMA users, white collar criminals and Banana Republic shoplifters.
“We’re going to go after these criminals where we know they like to talk,” said RCMP program director Chris Lachette. “We’ve set up surveillance and wiretaps at popular brunch locations all across the country.”
Toews stated that, if the enforcement of current laws was not enough to fill Canada’s jail with white prisoners, the government would consider amending the Criminal Code to add new offences. Proposals included making organic coffee an illegal narcotic, and banning the playing of all racquet sports except badminton.