OTTAWA – Senator Patrick Brazeau’s recent arrest for domestic assault has shocked the country and caused his ejection from the Conservative caucus. But it has caused perhaps the most outrage in the upper branch of Parliament, the Senate itself, where members look down upon and even condemn any action of any kind.conser
“I’m quite upset about this situation,” said Senator Art Eggleton while shooting an elastic band at a colleague. “Brazeau will certainly tarnish the reputation of the Senate. I can assure you that we are hardworking, responsible and —
”Duffy is asleep again!” Senate Majority Leader Marjory LeBreton interrupted pointing to a snoring Senator Mike Duffy. “Get the permanent markers!”
An analysis by the political watchdog group Democracy Watch revealed that the last time a senator did anything significant was in 1994 when Louis Robichaud suggested that there be two distinct Holiday Parties for all sitting Senators: one for Christmas and Hanukah; the other for New Years.
“I’m concerned that Brazeau’s actions will hurt the role of the Senate in Parliament and affect the significant role I play in representing the people of…Nova Scotia?” Senator Lillian Dyck guessed.
“No, you represent PEI, remember?” Senator David Tkachuck corrected. “I represent Nova Scotia.”
Both Dyck and Tkachuck were originally appointed to represent Saskatchewan.
Speaker of the Senate Noel Kinsella was quick to assure Canadians that the Senate would not allow one member’s actions to impact its important work.
“We have and will continue to serve our country by acting as the chamber of sober, second thought,” said Kinsella before LeBreton interrupted saying, “Right, sober!” and the other senators erupted into laughter.
Despite a planned press conference in front of the Red Chamber, turnout was poor since most senators were too busy attempting to obtain housing allowances for where they pretend to live.
