NASHVILLE – Taylor Swift, 23, may have broken up with 18-year-old Harry Styles only a couple of weeks ago, but she is already hard at work writing one of her classic breakup ballads about the One Direction singer who is known for his appreciation of women in their thirties.
Said a source close to the country cutie, “Taylor thinks Harry broke up with her because she wasn’t old enough.” When asked how this could possibly be, the source replied, “I know Taylor is technically older than Harry, but his last girlfriend was a 32-year old married mom. Taylor just couldn’t compete with that level of life experience!”
So far, Taylor has reportedly written the following chorus for her new song about her relationship with Harry: “You said you were the one for me/ You claimed I was your destiny/ Then you left for a real housewife of New Jersey/ I’m way way way way waaaaaay too young for you.”
Other lyrics featured in what is sure to be Taylor’s next big hit include : “The night I lost my virginity/your last girlfriend got her second episiotomy/I’m way way way way waaaaaay too young for you.”
At press time, a spokesperson for Ms. Swift said the singer was not available for comment because she was too busy developing a strategy to pursue the now divorced Tiger Woods. Our Taylor insider revealed Ms. Swift has long aspired to count Mr. Woods as one of her bevy of celebrity exes. The country superstar is developing an idea for a breakup song about Tiger titled “Baby, I Was Your Hole-in-One,” which she hopes will complement the tunes she plans to compose about other future ex-boyfriends Prince Harry, Rob Kardashian and Vladimir Putin.
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