Langley, B.C. – Sources are reporting local man, Josiah Thompson, just realized that he was not as adept at hand to hand combat as he thought he was before engaging in it with another patro…
Tag: MMA
Upcoming UFC card features grumpiest fighters yet
EDMONTON – The UFC event in Edmonton will feature a title bout between the sport’s two grumpiest fighters: Stu Caufield and Frank Leroux, neither of whom has smiled since Mambo No.5 w…
Georges St-Pierre enjoying the best goddamn cup of coffee in his life
MONTREAL – Following his retirement, former UFC champion Georges St-Pierre was seen gently cupping the best god damn cup of coffee that he’s ever had in his whole life at a local brun…
Judging scandal gives tough guy excuse to talk about Olympic ice dancing
Sudbury, ON – Local bartender and former minor league hockey enforcer Jake Schmidt has been outraged by the alleged judge fixing in Sochi figure skating, in which the Russians have supposed…
Researchers determine that brain damage causes MMA fights
MORGANSTOWN, VA – Researchers at the esteemed Brain Injury Research Institute have determined that brain injuries cause mixed martial arts fights. “Before starting their careers in fighting, most…